So, Menage a 3 isn't as popular as my previous targets have been, but as it's once of the shittiest comics out there, it's my sworn duty to tear it to tiny little bits. Menage a 3 is a Canadian comic, which is pretty much a strike against it already - the only other Canadian comic I can think of is Dinosaur Comics, which is fucking terrible.
Ma3 (what a fucking stupid name, incidentally, the abbreviation looks like someone James Bond would work for) starts out with our protagonist walking in on his roommates having sex. Gay sex. Yes, his roommates are pretty much Liberace-strength gay. The blond one even talks in goddamned flower-shaped speech bubbles, but our intrepid hero was too clueless to notice them constantly hooking up. Note to aspiring webcomic writers: THIS IS NOT HOW YOU START A COMIC. EVER. NOT EVEN IF IT'S A DISGUSTING TENTACLE RAPE JAPANESE HENTAI MANGA. (Which might actually be better than Ma3, actually.)
So the fag-lovebirds decide to move across town to another apartment, which means that Gary (our hero's name, which I just mistyped as Gay, which I guess I'll call him from now on) has to find two new roommates to help pay the rent. Lucky for Gay, though, his roommates found time in between their creative fucking to put an ad in the paper for him! And sure enough, along comes a PUNK RAWK COMIC BOOK LOVIN' JAPANESE TATTOOED CHICK named Zii. That's gotta be every guy's fantasy, right? Well, just in case it's not, the comic introduces another girl, named DiDi, but who we'll call Tits. Sure enough, Zii and Tits quickly become Gay's roommates and Wacky Hijinks Ensue. Ugh.
But as utterly miserable as that storyline was, it manages to get even worse. We soon find out that the 29-year-old Gay is a virgin and, what's more, has never had any romantic interaction whatsoever. At this point I'm beginning to hope that Gay is (like every webcomic main character ever) a Mary Sue for the main author, because that would be fucking hilarious. Then comes a storyline where the characters think Tits might be a tranny and Gay might be, well, gay. Unfortunately, he's wrong, and all we get from the story is poorly-drawn monochrome T&A. It goes on like that, with more boobies and anime nosebleeds, for a while - incidentally, Zii is as attracted to Tits as Gay, which I guess makes her a lesbo, although they don't come out and say it.
Ugh. And it continues - I could fill pages upon pages with nothing but links to partially occluded, shittily-rendered tits. Both, well, Tits' tits, and Zii's. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing at all against breasts, but seriously, that's what pr0n is for. But soon enough we get to what is presumably the actual point of the strip, like, six months in. "Dave Zero1" and "Giz," who write the comic, have no fucking clue how to tell a story - they all end up taking way too long to end, or end too soon, or have no point, or take forever to get started. And then we get mystery, in the form of OMG ZII DOESN'T HAVE A JOB HOW WILL SHE PAY THE RENT?!?!?! Like everything else, though, it quickly degenerates into boobies. And gay sex, but if you like gay sex, get off my fucking blog. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually getting sick of female breasts. There are more anime nosebleeds, more tits, whatever, just pick a strip, any strip, and there it'll be. Also apparently Gay likes J-pop, which probably explains why he can't get laid.
So yeah. I'd criticize the art, but I'm pretty worn out from reading through the archives once - we'll just say the art's bad enough that I wasn't once turned on by NAKED GIRL TITS, and leave it at that. Good things: There are no furries or anthro animals in the cast (unless you count Zii's cat, who apparently wanted to fuck Gay or something - really, look at its position) and it makes no retarded "nerdy" references. That said, it's probably worse than Questionable Content, although since it's not even 1% as popular, I can give it something of a break.
To sum up the review, I'll link you to this Ma3 strip. "Porn with plots" describes the comic pretty well, actually, and one would think that it would be popular among people who liked that stuff. Except that NOBODY LIKES PORN WITH PLOTS. THAT IS NOT WHAT PORN IS FOR, IT IS FOR JERKIN' IT WHEN YOU CAN'T GET LAID FOR REAL. "Dave Zero1 and Giz" (LOL, jizz) don't seem to understand that, and so they continue to put out this piece of shit, which fails at both being porn and having a plot.
Up next: Achewood, maybe, if you beg for it, or possibly Dinosaur Comics, because that at least had the potential to be funny.
P.S. Tuesday's my 17th birthday, so I'm going out with my banging hot girlfriend. Send a card or something to: (first name)(last name without vowels)(92)@gmail.com. (My alias, I'm not putting my real name on this site, retards).
6 comments:
Yeah dude, this comic is actually meant for non-bigot adults. Instead of being bad, may it be that you simply are not the target audience?
Agree with above comment.
I'd say it's a really well put together comic. I hope you've grown up a bit in the few years since you wrote this trashy blog post.
Agreed. The entire article reads like one big inconsiderate rant, which I find hilarious. The actual comic is quite well done, both the artwork and character development.
one word dude. Rant. thats all youre doing. Thats all the fuck u're writing. I wont say Ma3 is a GREAT comic but its pretty darn decent and funny alright. As for Questionable Content... ITS ONE OF THE BEST GODDAMN COMICS I EVER READ. so if you go on judging that one on a bad note youre a goddamn idiot. you dont like it? fine. you wanna express that to us? also fine, you've a right. but be polite and courteous, instead of degrading them like sons of bitches. if you you wanna do that? find the nearest tree around you and bang some hole in it.
Hey, Sir Rant-a-lot, stopping being all butt hurt about a comic with characters who aren't straight, you closest queer. And if that type of comic isn't your kind of thing, then don't read it.
It's basically "How can we mess with the Dilton clone today?" Especially since everybody called Gisele out on Zii basically being her own personal Mary Sue. It must have hurt Giz's heart to throw the readers a bone and revoke Gary's V-card. Thus the torture she keeps putting him through. Or DaveZero1 is Giz's svengali and he's the one with the grudge on Dilton for some reason.
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