Hey! This is just another shitty webcomics blog, like John Solomon, or Tangents, or Eric Burns! Why should I read this shit?Good question, faggot! The short answer: Because you're the retard who thinks that everything Solomon writes is pure gold-plated 24-carat gold. And you're WRONG.
People like Solomon, and Burns and Tangents, lure you in with their cleverness and their sparkly, flashy writing style. And you think, Hey! These guys can use big words like "anthropomorphic," so they must know which webcomics are good and which ones suck!
Well, guess what. You're wrong, because you're stupid. First let's take a look at the things that fat faggot Burns likes. He has two five-star comics: The Order of the Stick, a shitty stick-figure comic that caters to 300-pound nerds like Burns who still play D&D into their 30s, and Evil Inc., a wacky comic about supervillains! Who make stuff for other supervillains! Ha ha, how wacky!
Solomon is too chicken to have a list of his favorite comics on his blog, but based on the things he's reviewed, I'll tell you right now that his taste sucks. He gave not one, but about seven bad reviews to Dominic Deegan, which isn't exactly my cup of tea, but there are some quality jokes there.
He also gave bad reviews to BOTH Ctrl+Alt+Del and PvP, which are second and third only to Penny Arcade (I'm not linking it because if you don't read it, GET OFF THIS FUCKING BLOG) in terms of the best webcomics ever. What's more, his PvP review doesn't just criticize the comic, it even stops to personal attacks against Scott Kurtz, which I will not tolerate.
I'll admit that PvP and CAD have their occasional missteps -- when they stop being funny, for example. But really, how can you not appreciate a good eating disorder joke?
In conclusion, fuck you all. I'll be back sometime in the next few days with a review guaranteed to get you all worked up.
-- John Calhoun
